Momma Snider

October 20, 2007

Last night I had a really fun dream. The house we were living in was haunted by the same family when they were younger, or something. As I often do, I saw the end of the dream. This time they walked out of the house and saw Abraham Lincoln lying on a bench by the front door, so the mom finally believed what they’d been telling her. Then I went back and watched the rest of the dream. It was like the family of 15 years ago was living concurrently with the current family. The baby of now would play with the baby from then, for example. And every once in a while there would be, say, orange juice spilled on the floor when no one had orange juice. And we could see how the mom had decorated differently over the years, because the walls would flash back. I mentioned at some point how glad I was to have more modern ghosts, because it wasn’t depressing.

April 17, 2008

I dreamed that I was talking to Mark and Brian from KLOS. Later, a young man and his girlfriend attacked me with a pocket knife, and I told Mark and Brian about it, and Mark realized it had been his son. He was very disappointed in him, but not surprised. At some point I was walking across a field, and there were turtles hatching all over the place.

June 26, 2008

We are at Jeff’s house, but I don’t think that had anything to do with my dream this morning. Janna had won two trips to Europe, and Kenny couldn’t go, so she asked me if I wanted to go. I forgot about it until she came to my house to wait for the limo to take us to the airport. So I grabbed some clothes, couldn’t find what I wanted, couldn’t find a suitcase, etc. Eventually I borrowed a suitcase from Joy and found enough clothes to make it work. I thought we were only going to be gone for four days, but found out later it would be a week. The limo was late, and I found myself hoping it wouldn’t come in time, because I didn’t want to be gone for a week anyway. But eventually it got there, and we figured we’d just make it to LAX in time. The limo was much bigger inside than it looked, with several rooms. Then the intrigue began. I found a room where they had locked up four kids from my school and had drugged them to try to prove that they were mentally incompetent. I was talking to them, and one of them in particular showed a little spark of himself. So I pulled a fire alarm, and while the bad guys were trying to find out who did it, I snuck the one kid outside. He was actually in the shape of a pink balloon with a face. (I was very surprised to get up this morning and see a pink balloon by the couch – but I probably saw it last night and didn’t notice it.) I got outside with him and found that there were a bunch of people trick-or-treating, mostly adults. So I put Balloon Boy in a man’s bag and asked him to take him back to the school. Then I went back in the bad guy room and pretended that nothing had happened. They didn’t seem to notice that one of their subjects was gone.

June 29, 2008

I dreamed that we bought a house, and after we moved in, strange things started happening. A file drawer would start to open by itself, and when I went to check on it, it opened all the way and started to fall out, but I was there to catch it. At first we thought it was some evil spirit doing it, but then we realized that it was a friendly ghost, and he knew the drawer was about to fall out, so he got our attention by moving the drawer a little bit.

Then it turned out that there was kind of a virus/alien life form that would infect people’s brains and make them evil. Someone figured out a way to tell who had the virus, but no one could figure out what to do with it. Finally someone came up with a poison that would kill the virus/alien, but we had to figure out how to administer it. But I was the hero once again, and I just put a little of the poison on my finger and snuck it onto each person’s snack cracker. Got ‘em!

But then in a totally different dream I was at work, and I had a little jug on my desk that was an evil/alien detector, and it started to bubble, which meant that somehow the virus alien had survived. Several of the kids at school had it and had to be sent to another school. We had to go through a testing and sorting process, but eventually got them all transferred, and there was some hope that they could be cured.

Last night in my dream I was late getting to church and I realized as I was getting out of the car that I was wearing jeans, and there was no time to go home and change.  But I knew it was a dream, and so I concentrated really hard and made myself be wearing a dress.  Too bad I can’t concentrate that hard in real life.  I could be thin!  I could enjoy exercise!  If nothing else, think of the time I’d save changing clothes!

January 3, 2009

I decided to go sleep in my old bedroom, outside my mom and dad’s house. The bed was still there. I went out at bedtime and found some of my old clothes in the closet, and was just going to get in bed, when a homeless man and woman came in. I realized they’d been sleeping there. They apologized and went away, but I felt really bad for them, and kept wondering if I should have gone inside and slept on the couch or something so they could have a bed.

A mom called school to see if her kid had stayed after. Her name was Polly. I tried to tell her that since it was Tuesday, and he stays after every Tuesday, he must have stayed. She begged me to call the classroom. I couldn’t remember the kid’s name, but I said his mom’s name was Polly. He answered and said her name was really Mary, but anyway, I knew he was there.

And someone had found a Chihuahua puppy. I decided I’d bring it home while trying to contact the owners. She was found with a motel room key, so I kept trying to call the motel, but couldn’t dial properly. (I hate when that happens in dreams!) I finally decided I’d bring her home and try to call from home, or maybe drive by the motel and look for her. As I passed City Park, though, there was a mom standing on the sidewalk wailing, “Mi bebe!” OH, and the Chihuahua had turned into an actual baby somewhere along the way. I went around the block and came back, and she was so happy. Her whole family was there, and they invited me into their house while the abuela made me some tamales. I thought they were done, but she didn’t give them to me, and she left the room and I didn’t know where she was. I kept waiting and waiting, and finally someone told me she had gone to lie down. The baby’s name turned out to be Gloria, and she was 14 months old. Rocky called, and I’d been thinking he’d be worried about me because it was getting so late, but he was at some convention or something and didn’t even know I wasn’t home yet. I finally decided to leave without my tamales, only then I couldn’t find my keys. Oh, and the car I was driving was our old ’72 Vega, the one we bought when we were first married. I was just going to call Chris to bring the spare down, and then I found it. I drove away, but they had Main Street all closed off, and some man just kept yelling, “U-Turn!” I asked where I was supposed to go once I’d made a U-turn, and he said he didn’t care. I had to drive through some buildings, but finally got through, and then I woke up.

I’ve had some fun dreams lately but haven’t gotten around to posting them.  Last night some teachers from my school were working on a Saturday and Francisco called to ask me to bring them something to eat.  So I went down there with free pizza certificates, and they all went to the back room of a pizza place to eat.  There were about 30 of them by that time, and they got rowdy and the police were called, and by the time they got there everyone was throwing food and getting really crazy.

But then we all went to a big concert of some kind, more of an orchestra thing than a rock concert.  The rowdy teachers were still there.  Somehow the conductor picked Rocky out and found out that he was a great conductor and offered him a job, which he turned down.  But we were kind of the stars of the audience after that.  In front of several thousand people, the conductor asked me if I’d be willing to sing “a classic” as an object lesson.  I said okay, except I could not think of a song.  Finally I came up with “If I Fell” by the Beatles, and I decided I’d start it low so I could reach the high notes later on.  I didn’t realize the conductor was going to be playing the piano.  So I started, and it didn’t fit what he was playing, so he had to adjust.  I thought I did okay, though, and Rocky sang some harmony, but when we were finished the conductor said, “That was terrible, of course, but it serves my purpose.”  He did not make clear what that purpose was, besides embarrassing me, but whatever.  He told Rocky and me to wear pink shirts for the evening performance.  And then the rowdy teachers started a riot, and my grandma was there, and she had to try to escape the riot, and the police were there shooting at the rioters, so we all had to lie down in the gutter so the curb would give us some measure of protection from the flying bullets.  But I guess we lived happily ever after, because here I am!

I was riding my motorcycle, and I got all dirty, so I stopped by a former friend’s house to take a shower. The door was unlocked, so I just went down to the basement and showered, and when I came out of the bathroom, I dropped something that made noise. She heard me and came downstairs and told me I’d better not wake up her son, who was asleep in a portacrib right there. Naturally, he woke up right then, and I apologized profusely, but she wasn’t accepting it. So I kept trying to make conversation, and she kept being really snippy. Andy and PeeWee were running around, too, which in hindsight might explain her coldness, but at the time I didn’t get it. Then she finally made some comment about how my kitchen is so bland and undecorated. At first my feelings were hurt, but then as I turned around to leave, I got mad. I went back and unloaded all my hurt feelings from years past, how she has never respected me and how she always looked down on me because, bless my heart, I wasn’t a good housekeeper, with several examples. And then I grabbed PeeWee and Andy and got on my motorcycle. It was really fun, only I was almost out of gas, and I was afraid if I stopped I wouldn’t be able to get going again. I also realized I didn’t have my seatbelt on. Finally I had to stop, and I managed to get gas and then put on my seatbelt and my helmet, and settled PeeWee and Andy on the seat in front of me, and took off again.

Only then I realized I didn’t know where I was. I asked someone, and figured out I’d been going the wrong direction, which I understood when I looked in the sky and saw the sun in the wrong place. Once I got myself oriented, I saw the I-10 in the distance, and figured out which direction I needed to go. Only then I decided to stop by and apologize to the friend, which I did.

Now I want a motorcycle!

This dream was a fun one.  I dreamed that my mom had found some old photos, and there were kids in them that we didn’t recognize, but one of them looked exactly like my granddaughter, Lindsay.  Since it was a dream, I was able to go back in time to the day the picture was taken to see who it was.  It was a friend of Jeff’s and Beth’s, but then the dream veered off.  My favorite part after that was finding a farm that had cartoon sheep.  I really wanted to get one of them to put on my front porch with the lion statue that I hope to get soon.

This morning I was dreaming that I was trying to pack for a trip to Utah, but there were going to be six of us in the car, including Lindsay and Logan in their carseats, and also Chris and some guy who just needed a ride.  Most of the dream was just incidental stuff, but my hair had fallen out in big patches, and I was kind of embarrassed about it, and was considering trying to do a combover or something.  Then I found out the same thing had happened to my sister Janna, but she had died her scalp when she died her hair, so I was going to try that.

This time I was dreaming about some lip treatment I bought yesterday (90% off!) that is supposed to erase fine lines around the mouth and plump up the shriveled old lips.  In my dream, my niece Hollie noticed that I was wearing it because it had a blue tint to it.  Turned out blue lips was really a cool thing, so she was proud of me for wearing it.  She showed me her blue eyeliner that was worn inside the eye, and it made the whites of her eyes blue and transparent, so I was able to look into her eyes and see the retina and all the inner workings of her eye.

My feet have been hurting a lot lately, and have been swollen, and my left big toe, ToeToe hurts a lot.  Turns out it’s arthritis, but whatever.  Anyway, I couldn’t wear my black casual shoes all last week because I couldn’t even get my foot all the way in.  Today I found my boot socks stuffed way down in the toes of the shoes.  Double score!  Now I know where the socks are, and I’m wearing the shoes!

I haven’t had any fun dreams lately, though.  So sad.

4/24/08

I dreamed that a young lady that we knew (I don’t know who she was) was getting married.  They had a huge yard and house, an estate, actually, and they had an all-day event planned for the reception.  They had even hired a nanny team to watch the little kids.

Laura had given a talk in Primary, prepared it herself and everything, and I had not been there to hear it for some reason.  She was seven years old.  But she was willing to repeat the talk to me when I went to check on her in the nanny area at the reception.  And they gave all the kids presents at the end of the day, and hers was her very first chapter book.  Lindsay was there, too, and when Jeff went to check on her they told him that she had had a little seizure, but she was fine.  He was mad that they had not called him, and he ran upstairs to check on her, slamming the door behind him.

The bride was really excited to be getting married and everything, especially because they were building a big new house that was almost finished.  She was also excited about the bridesmaids’ dresses and everything else.  She was very sweet, not BrideZilla at all.  Her mom started talking to me like she knew me, but I couldn’t remember her at all, and I couldn’t even remember what their last name was.  She said she had lived in Murrieta years ago when we were all one ward, and her husband had been killed in a car accident, and somebody I knew had been her visiting teacher, but I still couldn’t place her at all. 

About an hour before the wedding was scheduled to start, they remembered that they had also ordered lunch for all the guests, so they brought out huge piles of eggrolls and cinammon rolls, hoping everyone would eat those before it was time for the dinner after the wedding.  Then the wedding happened, and afterwards I kept looking at the piles of food left over.  It’s all about food with me.  No wonder I can’t stop eating when I’m awake.

I think I will use this blog to keep track of my dreams.  I LOVE my dreams!  This way, if someone wants to read about them, they can, but even if not, at least I’ll have them in print so I can enjoy them again later.

Last night I hid some illegal immigrants in my cellar, which was really more like a crawl space.  It was really more like the Underground Railroad in seriousness, though, and I felt very humanitarian and compassionate.  But then the IRS audited us, and as they were questioning me, they kept asking how many people had been sleeping at my house in the past 10-20 years.  I didn’t know how to answer, what with having six kids who have come and gone over the years, but they kept at me, wanting me to give an exact number.  Finally I realized they were referring to the illegal immigrants.  Dave Bundy was talking to me, trying to get me to understand what a serious transgression this was, and I was trying to explain that I wasn’t so much aiding the cause of illegal immigration as just being compassionate to these people who were starving and had no place to sleep.  My biggest worry was how to explain that to Chris, my seriously conservative son.

I had a really great week, with five of my six kids here by this morning, and all three of my grandkids and the world’s best daughter-in-law. We all missed the one who couldn’t make it here, but the rest of us had a good time. It will be awfully quiet around here after everyone is gone again.